Its been going on close to two years now. Multiple Dr.s visits. Countless tests & exams. Yet here we sit, still NO answers?

Yesterday I drove 2 hours, one way, for the fourth time to Georgia for what was supposed to be the results (FINALLY) of the newest rounds of tests. The MRI was to aid the Dr in knowing if we are looking at residual silicone that has now capsulized, or breast cancer. Yet there I sat with a Dr who acted like he would rather be anywhere else than sitting there talking to me, and I was BEYOND frustrated! As he went on and on about this and that... what I really just wanted was a simple answer. What I received was a "Well, the MRI has not been read as of today. I have NO answers for you. But, here is my card. If you don't hear back from me by the end of the week then give me a call and remind me."
WHAT????
Me, call you? And to REMIND you to do your job?

So that was it. I went off... well, I went off as much as I could go off considering I was on a military installation and I had no idea if I could be in major trouble if I caused a scene? Or, if it could cause damage to my husbands career? But I was fuming, and he knew it! My opinion of this Dr. is that he is a jaded Col. who is playing out his time and really could care less about his patients. Prior to his speaking with me I overheard him in the hall with a fellow physician, bashing a Col. wife about her Botox treatments and how he is sick and tired of these spoiled woman and their cosmetic issues. But then why are you a "Cosmetic Surgeon"???
Completely unprofessional!!! I'm sure by the time I left my blood pressure was through the roof!

So, I'm done. I can't take the back and forth or the waiting month after month after month. So today I'm going to call a surgeon in NC who was referred to me months ago by one of my husbands soldiers in Germany. A breast cancer survivor herself who swears by the hands and work of this surgeon. He is renown for his advanced techniques in reconstructive breast surgery, and I hope that he can get me in by the time we come home from a much needed vacation. I went onto his website and scanned through before and after images of patients and I was in tears. His work is amazing!!! He is truly gifted.

I brought home a disk of images from one of the most recent of my mammograms (Last January) and of my MRI.
It's pretty scary. That lump is extremely large.
So here we go again....

Its been a crazy few days. Driving back and forth from a Georgia hospital having yet more tests to see just what this plum size mass is in my breast. Yet another Dr. wants to tell me "Eh, I don't like the way that looks, so let's do this... and this... and this..."
So here I sit and wait again. Thinking, crying, sleeping, and Googling much too much information. It's surely what's been tying my stomach in knots.

So today I felt relieved that I had an afternoon shoot. And with a beautiful woman who asked primarily for nudes. Black and white nudes. YES PLEASE!!!! I love it when a woman is so comfortable in her own skin and doesn't mind showing it off on camera. In fact, she even said that I could post them. "Please, not a full on clear face shot. But anything else... eh, whatever." I had a grin from ear to ear as I edited a few of them tonight.

Special thanks and shout out to Yairi for the incredible make up and hair. You never let me down and I love working with you & hope to do many more projects together real soon.

So go grab a nice glass of wine and enjoy....

46 years old. I can remember the day that the age 46 seemed so old and SO far away! Yet here it is, my 46th birthday, right around the corner. No telling what a woman my age will ask for? But ask my husband and he will answer you in one easy sentence... "Make it shoes, botox, or fillers and she is good to go."

Oh goodness, how my husband knows me so well!!! So this year he changed things up a little bit. Instead of waiting until May 30th, I was given my gift early. And instead of it being yet another thing that he claims I simply "Do NOT need..." he bought me something I surely did need; He bought me a new SUV!!!

Yep, kiss that black voodoo, energy sucking, bad memory Mercedes good bye and say hello to my little friend!

My new Volvo XC60 T6 Polestar 354hp Turbo SUV that is!!!

She is beautiful! And only 1 of 3 in all of South Carolina! It was a custom built car for a Volvo client who later went with 2 convertibles instead. So there she sat, begging to be free. Begging to be bad. Begging for me to put her in my garage. So, I did!

In all truth, we have been eye balling new SUV's for some time now. With both brake and transmission issues, along with stupid things that didn't seem normal for a $60K Benz? Like peeling center console, cup holders plastic clip broke and fell into the center console? And buttons that simply do not work. In all, I am very disappointed in the Mercedes product and don't think I will be ever buying one again. It was an amazing experience though... touring the actual plant in Stuttgart, Germany. Placing the order making it completely my own. Braking her in on the Autobahn. But everything after that was just crap. Such a shame...

So I test drove around 9 brands of SUV's from the Nissan Morano to the Land Rover. I was walking past the Volvo when the interior caught my eye. Which made me ask the salesman, who went and got the keys, gave me a fantastic test drive, then told me to take it home for the night. :)
VERY smart move!!! The hubby really liked how it drove and handled. The next day, as promised, it was in our garage. :)

Thank you baby for my new car! I LOVE IT!!! And thank you for trusting ME to negotiate, and make the final deal. I didn't do so bad eh? LOL!

Sophia Vergara, Dita Von Tease, Kate Winslet, Scarlett Johansson, Beyonce Knowles... What do all these woman have in common? CURVES! Beautiful, voluptuous, womanly curves.

I love curves... Probably because I don't have any and you know us women, we always want what we don't have.

About a week ago I had an amazing woman in my studio. She was not a size 0 and she was proud of it. She was confident, and she was experimental, and she was sexy as hell! She never once mentioned what she didn't like. But she was quick to tell me what she did like... "I like my legs, and I like my hair and my eyes. Heck, I like it all!"

So away we went on this magical ride into the world of the curvy girl... and was it ever fun!!!

Enjoy...

The first time I met Maxine was at the Red Dress Gala where she sang for the crowd and made me have to catch my breath! She was amazing!

In the months that passed we came to know one another even more. She loved my photography style, I loved her singing and personal style. Then, I found out that she was a Capt. in the Army when she asked my husband and I to attend her change of command ceremony at Ft. Jackson. Her hubby and my hubby made friends easily and the four of us were soon talking about heading to Miami in late May to shoot their vow renewal after 15 years of bliss. How could I say no???

Maxine's singing career is taking off. With gigs spanning around the US and extending into Canada, Maxine thought it high time she updated her portfolio images to reflect a more sexy, classy look. So yesterday afternoon we walked the bike paths of Lake Carolina and found the most beautiful of light to accompany her amazing wardrobe and smile. I had a fantastic time, and I can't wait to shoot her wedding in just a few weeks...

Thank you Maxine for including me in on such an important day. And for loving my work enough to keep my calendar booked with events!!! You are so beautiful!!!! I had a great time yesterday!!!

Enjoy a few sneak peeks... :)

There are those who talk about doing things, and there are those who DO those things they speak of.  I am blessed that I seem to easily find those who are the doers of the world...

This morning I drove to Cayce to a wonderful salon called Salon 1411 for a very special photo opportunity.  One that you only hear of once in a blue moon... 

My client, whom I now call my friend, was doing such an amazing thing that I just had to go be a part of it and to forever capture the magical feeling that only comes from those who give so willingly and lovingly. 

Her hair, her gorgeous, long, beautifully healthy hair was being cut over 14" all in the name of giving back to those less fortunate. 

http://www.locksoflove.org 
 Locks of Love is a public non-profit organization that provides hairpieces to financially disadvantaged children in the United States and Canada under age 21 suffering from long-term medical hair loss from any diagnosis. Please click the link above for further information on this amazing group of people.
 
It was touching beyond words. We all cried a few tears. Not over the loss of hair length, but over the spirit of giving to others. All of us there have felt the pain of illness such as cancer in the lives of our families and friends.

My grandfather, rest his soul, passed from lung cancer years ago. And to watch the pain he went through, and to watch his strength through it all is something that I will never ever forget. He was my everything, and I was robbed the opportunity to spend the remaining days of his life with him because of the selfish and ridiculousness of another family member. And to this day I still have the hardest of times forgiving her for her heavy ego and childish ways.


My grandfather and grandmother are now with God in heaven, and I miss them each and every day. Its days like today that I take a deep breath and smile as I am blessed to know those like Mrs. Shealy who don't just say they are going to make a difference, but they go out and actually do it!!!

Jessica... I am so very proud of you. What you have done today will be the biggest blessing for another life one day very soon. Your love will bring them hope once again at a time when so much seems hopeless.


You are an angel, and I am BEYOND humbled to call you my friend. You came into my life with such a force that I will forever hold a special place solely for you in my spirit.
God Bless You!!! 





Her beautiful long hair... 


First ponytail ready for the cut...
 

And it began...
 

First one complete...
 

 With a deep breath, and a few tears shed by all, we thought of those who will be blessed by this wonderful gift...


And then she started on the other side...

This is what true beauty looks like... Jessica and Jenna her stylist.

And the styling begins...

As she admires her new look...
 

And a little spray... 


Her beautiful new cut... 


And here is the hair that is off to "LOCKS OF LOVE..." An amazing spirit is locked inside these strands. Someone very special will one day call this there own.

When a new client phones me about a boudoir session one of the first things I try to do is talk about other things... not that I am trying to talk them out of a shoot (obviously) but I've noticed that if you divert the conversation towards humor first - business second then all of those insecurities and all that apprehension goes right out the window.


Onward to Miss*****.
Today she drove in from Georgia for what she described as "The craziest thing I've done in a very long time." I laughed, not at the statement, but at her brutal honesty. And when I met her face to face I knew we would be instant friends. I love an honest woman. I love when someone is not concerned with what others think of them, and therefore there really is no filter. I'm very much like that myself, and people either love ya or hate ya... but they will always know that you are no hold barred, pull no punches type of woman.


She walked in $20 in hand and headed straight for the "Pity Poo Jar" and dropped it in. She said she wanted to get that part out of the way first. Then proceeded with a laundry list of things that I need to be aware of when I shoot. Things about herself that she didn't care for too much. Things about herself that she would rather not highlight. I gave her 10 minutes to get it all out, then I banned her from speaking of it again. Then off we went....


First 20 frames or so she was stiff as a board and kept asking "Does this look ok? Am I doing this right?" So I did my usual and showed her a couple of frames of herself so she could see what I was seeing. And then it happened. That magic light bulb moment when you watch the woman before you evolve from an unsure client to a newly confident woman. She started laughing more, smiling more. She started to offer poses instead of asking to be shown poses. She dropped her nerves on the floor and let her sexy vixen out!!! And was she ever amazing!!!

We wrapped it up and she gave me a huge hug. And when I went to let go she hugged me again, this time with eyes full of tears. She said that she felt beautiful, and sexy, and ready to go home with a new attitude about herself and her sexiness. And THAT folks is EXACTLY why I love doing boudoir!!!


I think she is pretty darn sexy! And I think her hubby is in for a great night!!!! :)

How many times do you think I can keep saying how much I love my job? A million times over and it would hold true every single time. I love my job!!!

Ok, now that I made that clear, let's talk boudoir...

Yesterday afternoon I had the pleasure of spending the day with an amazing woman and her bff.  It was a total girls day that started with champagne and cheese and fruit and yummy- yummy candy. Then she headed off to the MUA for her pro MAC make up application. 

Wrapped tight in our Deborah Berard Photography robe, she sipped her champagne with a quiet calm that was completely infectious. And it wasn't too long until everyone involved forgot that this was a photo shoot and acted like we were playing dress up in our mothers closet. All while hitting the liquor cabinet. LOL!  
And it was fabulous!!!

As we started our shoot her calmness continued, and did it ever show! With each frame I could see exactly what I describe to women again and again and again... that confidence.  And was she ever having fun!  With her bbf by her side lending a hand with props, wardrobe and as a "fan"tastic fan holder, :) helping to keep everything moving as smooth as the silk Miss*** was wearing.

When it was all over she gave me a HUGE hug and paid me the best compliment ever. She told me that the shoot was fun, easy and much different than she expected. She really didn't find herself as nervous as she thought she would be. She felt sexy, and sensual, and she said that my directs and demonstrations made everything as simple as could be. I kept things moving and the energy flowing.

That right there was the best words I could have EVER heard!
I wish I could show you all of them because she is just THAT beautiful, but rules are rules. 

Enjoy...

Pushed back AGAIN... those were the words I was greeted with last evening during a call with the editor of CINHTE Magazine to discuss the shoot for designer Bryan K Osburn. Garments hadn't shipped on time, now a model is a no go for the date. I really don't mind the delay because I have some wicked fun ideas in mind if I really get to stretch my creative wings during this shoot, and I could use some further planning. But because of all these crazy ideas I have rolling around in my head I'm also growing increasingly antsy for this shoot to finally set, and keep, a date.

So onto next project... props for my client on Saturday. An old aluminum chair that I am painting garnet is what I am working on at the moment. She has this country theme going so I am coming up with nice, sexy, country style props and ideas so her session is fun and full of action. I even spoke with the MUA (make up artist) today and she is a go as well.

Then, it's back to working on the website. Seems more and more inquiries are coming in about stylized bridal and engagement portraits so I thought it was time to link that baby as well. I am meeting with the women at Wedding 101 to discuss advertising with them. And then I received a message from Fashion Blogger, fashionista, PR wonder woman, and all around great gal Gigi LaBord of Miss Fancy Threads asking if she could interview me for her feature? I mean come on now... how could I say no?

Monday there will be another FemFessionals meeting. This one is at the loft, so everyone come on down and join us for an amazing night of networking and friendship making.

For now I leave you with the new Buttons for the website. Yes... they're film strips and I shoot digital. Hahaha... These new kids won't get it! LOL!